The Final Countdown
by Iba
Summary: optimus prime returns home to find starscream ready to go


Another tedious night on Optimus Prime's watch out for enemy movements left his well-oiled joints and tufferware exterior worse for wear. But none of that mattered when he reached his secluded little place. His engine's home was where he'd find his mutual-comprehending robot, Starscream.

when he entered the kitchen to feed on some oil, he noticed starscream wearing a pink apron while standing at the sink, washing dishes. he gaped and was about to kick is bott.

"STARSCREAM!" he shouted and went into a fighting stance. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"oohohoh!" starscream said. "welcome home, darhling!"

"dont darhling me, bitch!" optimus prime said. "dont tell me this is another one of your schemes!"

"oh, what schemes, darhling?" starscream said in a gentle voice as he went over to the paranoid autobot. he wrapped his arm around optimus prime. "how was work, honey?"

optimus prime floundered away from the clingy robot but ended up falling on his rear fender with a large crash. starscream smacked his hands on his hard face to show surprise. "OH OPTY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" he thudded next to the other, making a large crack in the floor paneling.

"get away from me!" optimus prime screamed as if a pig was being squeezed out of its last squeal. this made it worse. starscream wrapped his arms around optimus prime and squeezed the living daylights out of him as they both rocked back and forth.

optimus prime started to get nauseous from the back and forth motions and spewed oil all over the floor and some on starscream's arm. but the other robot was undaunting with his caresses and murmured out a, "aw, is my optimus prime feeling under the weather today? i'll make you feel all better."

and with that, starscreamed helped optimus prime up and lead him to the kitchen table. he let optimus prime lean against it to catch his breath and come to his senses. that didnt work very well because starscream started rubbing his screwdriver against optimus prime's behind.

optimus prime jolted from the rubbing and smacked away starscream's advances. "what is wrong with you?" starscream gave a gentle head shake as if to say "you silly" and started to flash his headlights at the other.

optimus prime backed away, making little back up beeping noises. yet starscream started doing what looked like pulling something from the air. it was the truck driver honk signal. but to autobots this meant something more, something deep. no, it did not mean a developing relationship between truck driver and fellow provoker. it was more like a hay baby let me ride your four wheels

optimus gave a frightened pig squeal and spewed more of his oil right in the face of starscream. he was losing power, he knew it. but he took the small chance he was given and ran away from the impending nightmares that would torment him. he ran to the nearest car dealer, away from starscream, and pulled a blanket over his head.

this was too lame! for starscream knew of optimus prime's woeing places. when starscream found optimus prime under a bob the builder blanket sobbing out screen wiping juice, he has taken the dignity of pouncing on top of optimus prime. he pulled off the blanket and optimus prime screamed but was soon shushed. quickly he found himself in a somewhat vibrating situation. starscream was grinding against him. "OH OPTY, YOU PROCREATING MACHINE!" he shouted in pleasure.

optimus prime couldn't stop the inevitable situation. he was losing his will to fight the odd scraping against his bottom. while starscream revved up in excitement, optimus prime squelched and shuddered in woe.

the onlooking cars stared back at the spectical blatantly.

it was hard not to listen to the screeching of their metal bodies moving, i know. starscream kept pulling up and down onto optimus prime's power ranch, but then halted for he noticed optimus prime's condition. "oh, honey, it looks like you need to repair!" starscream said in a sympathetic yet playful voice. optimus prime couldnt fight back at this point. he laid there motionlessly like a squirrel that has just been ran over by a car. he let starscream do whatever he was going to do. all of a sudden he screamed when he felt starscream putting his lubed screwdriver in and out of optimus prime's gas tank.

starscream went through his courtship for a solid two minutes before his screwdriver squirted out all his gasoline into optimus prime's tank. he collapsed, and the couple looked like a giant garbage dump what with gas leaking out from optimus prime. starscream cleaned up optimus with the bob the builder blanket and lit up a cigarette. "enjoy yourself, darhling?"

optimus prime laid there with tire marks covering his body as he reminisced what just happened. there was a lot of vroom vrooming going on as the hung dice danced crazily. he remembered himself muttering the words "zoom zoom" over and over again. how maddening of him! how dare he let starscream get the better of him! he was ashamed of himself... but he will never admit how great it was to have botsex. optimus prime stood up with extreme caution, limped his way over to starscream, and firmly grabbed his ass as he passed by. he almost crashed when he heard starscream say, "dont let the door hit your vagina on the way out."

THE END!


End file.
